Hey, You!

I sat, waiting on the plush, red love seat in my mother's bonus room, ironically,not feeling the love.

My husband had lost his job in Atlanta, and we (and our new baby) were gearing up to move in with my mother in North Carolina.

But all of the transition, the unspoken stress, over time led to that moment on that red love seat.

I heard the front door open and shut as my husband came home from work that evening. I always met him with a hug and kiss, but this day I didn't.

I waited for him to come upstairs to the bonus room, the place he'd come in refuge to relax in the recliner and watch the big screen after a long day.

I waited still for him to say something, but we both only mustered up a quick "I acknowledge your presence" head nod.

But then finally, I said "I can't do this like this anymore." I miss you, and I want us to figure this out."

It was 2016 ...

And in that moment, with all he was carrying on his shoulders and in his mind, all he could muster up was, "I don't know what to tell you."

Crushed, I felt the lump in my throat grow, so I got up, went to the bedroom, and cried into the pillow. This was my "this can't be it; this can't be how it's going to be forever" moment.

But when the tears finally stopped flowing, I sent him the longest text I've probably ever sent. I checked my ego at the door and put myself in his shoes in that moment.

Send.

And while I didn't know what would come of it, I felt ...relief. And I finally drifted off to sleep.

Only to be awakened by his arms enveloping me and a whisper of "thank you" in my ear.

That next morning, we put the armor down and had one of the most transparent conversations up to that point. We talked, re-committed, and got intentional about where we were, why we were, and how we would get back to a place of connection.

That moment for us was pivotal. Although we still have our challenges (like any couple for real for real), we've never gone back to that place.

And the only difference between us and you, is that we move with a set of guiding principles and tools that help dig us out of the crap and the mud so we don't drown in it but grow from it.

They Say ...

"Marriage ain't for the faint of heart."

You go through seasons in your marriage.

AND ALL OF THEM AREN'T PRETTY.

And "they" will have you thinking that means you may not make it, that your marriage may have run it's course, that you're too different now, that it's been going on for too long to find your way back to each other.

But "they" don't know. And the tougher times in marriage are not only normal...

THEY. ARE. INEVITABLE! YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

Now, your season won't look like anyone else's.

So you can't apply Google advice that was not meant for YOU, who YOU are, who your spouse IS, and what you truly want for YOUR unique marriage.

My work with couples is something different ...

As a native New Yorker (city, that is), born and raised, who lives in Atlanta with a pit stop in North Carolina, I’ve got that southern hospitality wrapped up in a New York state of mind!

I'm not going to lie to you; I ask you the hard questions.

I push you to do and think past what you've been doing on your own, because if I didn't I wouldn't be very good at what I do.

I'm not the coach who's going to jump on your bandwagon or your spouse's. I won't tell you you're wrong or right or give you a bulleted list of exactly what you need to do to fix your marriage as if there's some magical fix-all formula for your unique marriage.

If that's what you're seeking, I'm most likely not your cup of tea.

BUT IF YOU WANT TRUE TRANSFORMATION ...

If you want someone to get down in the trenches with you and guide you to the other side of all the crap that keeps you up at night wondering why the hell you don't feel as close as you want to be to your spouse, then we should talk.

I''ll go to the moon with you and back as your coach; you've just got to be ready to suit up!

How You Can Work With Me